In an expression of gratitude, two San Quentin residents explain how their mothers’ time in prison impacted their lives, including a renewed love through a mother’s transformation.

An adolescent child that has a parent behind bars can experience: “psychological stress, antisocial behavior, and criminal activity,” according to The Sentencing Project.

SQ resident Anthony Gomez, 28, has spent 10-years in prison. He said that, between the ages of three and four his mother was incarcerated for 16 months at California Institute for Women in Chino, California.

“Although my mom was incarcerated, she learned a lot from being in prison, Gomez said. “She did everything she could [once released] to make amends and take us away from the toxic and impoverished environment.”

He reflected that, while his mother served her sentence, she hardly ever got visits, and mail was few and far in between. In prison, his mother felt ostracized because their family was not supportive of his mother’s choices.

Gomez added that, his mother’s incarceration not only affected him, but his four brothers because at a young age they were separated.

In the absence of his mother, Gomez and three of his brothers went to live with their biological father, who was a drug addict. They were exposed to crack pipes on the floor of the home, and his father’s drug addicted friends coming in and out of the house. 

His oldest brother was nine-years-old at the time, and was forced to take care of him and his three brothers.

When Gomez’s mother got out of prison, his mother went to school and became a medical assistant. She later developed a career in the medical field.

His mother and his stepfather went above and beyond making amends. They sent Gomez and his brothers to a good school; they had a nice home, and lived a good life.

“I think the majority of our moms are our biggest supporters. This is especially true for me because my mom knows exactly what I am going through now,” Gomez said.

He reflected that, his mother’s efforts continue to go above and beyond, sending him pictures, and visiting him frequently.

Gomez shared how his mother read a lot while she was incarcerated. As a result, they share the same sentiment for books, and during visits, they talk about what they have read.

Sammie Nichols, 34, a San Quentin resident who has been incarcerated for 16 years said between the ages of 9 and 18, his mother was incarcerated off and on for 10-years at California Correctional Women’s Facility in Chowchilla, Calif.

“My mother’s incarceration affected my relationships with women. I had to always have another woman as a backup plan,” Nichols said.

His mother’s incarceration affected him growing up; which made him untrustworthy of love and affection. “The feeling that a loved one can be taken out of your life so quickly, and there is nothing I could have done,” Nichols said.

He also reflected that while society taught him to mask the pain that occurred during his struggles, his mother reminded him of the importance of expressing his hurt in order to come to a better understanding.

In the midst of his upbringing, his mother was always a survivalist, teaching him how to survive throughout life’s shortcomings. To this day Nichols remains in contact with his mother, sharing that, she has been out of prison for the last 12 years.

“Thank you for being my ride or die, no matter what, you always had my back, you loved me enough to be honest, and tell me when I messed up,” Nichols said. “Everyday is like Mothers’ Day for a woman like you.”