Prison puts a special pressure on the survival of a marriage. But for some couples, they have managed to stay together, despite being separated by prison bars.

On June 1, 1987, the United States Supreme Court established that marriage is a right for those serving terms in prison.

Since that time, many couples have taken their vows inside penal institutions.

However, a recent study, conducted by the Florida State University College of Criminology & Criminal Justice, concluded that when one spouse is incarcerated, even for a brief time, the marriage is more likely to end in divorce.

Every year of a prison term increases the odds that the marriage will end in divorce, the study said. The odds of separation increase by 32% during incarceration and after release. 

The study reported that spouses believed their marriages were less loving and more violent after incarceration than before. 

The study did not take account the anti-social behavior that preceded one spouse’s imprisonment, as if imprisonment were the sole source of the marital conflict.

Perry Shaw, formerly incarcerated at the California Health Care Facility in Stockton, married Chantel Shaw in November of 2007. Shaw was released in 2023 after his conviction was overturned on appeal.

During a phone interview, Perry and Chantel talked about how and why their marriage survived incarceration.

“I actually feel that my husband getting locked up made us closer,” said Mrs. Shaw. “The removal of all our day-to-day distractions and our singular focus on getting him home made me feel like we were teammates in a way I didn’t feel before.”

She added that she felt her husband’s imprisonment exposed a level of vulnerability inside him she did not know existed. She said this allowed her to open up more and present parts of herself that where hidden behind a cloak of feminine bravado.

Perry Shaw affirmed the sentiments of his wife regarding the strength of their marriage.

“If my wife and I bumped heads on something, there was no marriage counseling available to us at the prison. We had to talk it out; we had to communicate,” said Shaw. “There’s no lifers group to teach you how be a good husband. We found our strength surviving adversity together, and now a year after my release we are stronger than ever.”

One aspect of incarcerated marriages the Florida study fails to address is when a free person decides to marry a person serving a prison term.

San Quentin resident Abdiel Guerrero is eight years into a life sentence. He married his companion of four years earlier this year. Guerrero met his wife while in the Alameda County Jail litigating his current life sentence.

“Before we got married I asked my girl why she would want to marry me, considering my situation,” Guerrero said. “I was moved to hear that she saw the steps I was actively taking to correct the mindset that led to my life sentence and she felt that my efforts to become a better person separated me from other potential suitors in the free world.”

Guerrero said that he and his wife talk on the phone one to three hours a day, a high level of interpersonal communication. He said that he can instantly tell his wife’s mood based on the tone of her voice.

The Russell Sage Foundation produced a study saying that men in prison have about a 50% divorce rate (roughly the same rate for the public at large). 

“When I was on the street, the communication in my prior relationships was super different,” said Guerrero. “We may have had 10 to 15 minutes a day of actual face to face conversation. We didn’t talk on the phone at all. Does texting count?”    

A Pew Research study said that the divorce rate of the incarcerated population drops dramatically when one or both spouses practice a religion faithfully. Incarcerated Protestants have the highest divorce rate at 19%, while Hindus and Muslims have the lowest divorce rates at 5% respectively.

Sammie Nichols practices Islam and is serving multiple life sentences. He has been with his girlfriend for six years before they married three years ago. Nichols  has been incarcerated 16 years.

“My faith governs my life, and it teaches me that my wife is 50% of my very existence,” Nichols said. “She is the one that gives me balance, with Islam as our foundation keeping us rooted in truth.”

His wife, Porcha, said in a phone interview that she had to ask herself if she was willing to share life with Sammie considering his beings sentenced to life in prison. She said she initially intended to be his friend, but the quality and depth of Sammie’s humanity overwhelmed her, she said.

“After getting to know him [Sammie] and connecting through letters, phone calls, and visits, he began to show me what real love was,” Mrs. Nichols said. “He showed me how to love as well as what it was like to be loved by a man.”

Porcha Nichols added that she has had a front row seat to her husband’s transformation and daily growth into manhood.

According to Lifers Support Alliance, in parole board hearings, the board members look at the strength of incarcerated marriages as a factor in determining if the subject is likely to succeed after release.

In some cases a committed and supportive spouse could be weigh heavily in determining if someone is suitable for release.