A San Quentin program called Non-Violent Communication (NVC) holds that all coercion is an act of violence.
NVC founder Marshall Rosenberg calls “should” the most dangerous concept in the English language, “Should” thinking—and the belief that “they deserve to be punished because they didn’t do what I think they should do” is the root of all anger and violence on the planet. We are invited to look closely at our thinking and what may be motivating those thoughts – what “need,” what basic human value, is underlying our thoughts and feelings.
NVC asks us to look at all the ways we are violent in our daily life. It says that we are always responsible for our actions in the world.
It helps us to become more aware of what we are feel moment by moment and gives us tools to make peace with emotions we’ve been taught were not acceptable or appropriate. It teaches us to find the life energy under anger that can be expressed in ways that are authentic and not hurtful to ourselves or others.
NVC is a set of very practical skills, which helps us reframe how we express ourselves and hear others. More profoundly, though, it provides a model of thinking, speaking and hearing in a way that leads us to our humanity. It anchors us in internal freedom, allowing us to speak and act from our core values rather than reacting to external stimuli.
John, who usually teaches NVC Basic 2 on the Hill, says, “I’ve been teaching in San Quentin for eight years, and it has profoundly deepened my understanding of and ability to live the consciousness of NVC. I’ve seen my students grow in their understanding of their own and others’ emotions as well as in their ability and interest in responding nonviolently or compassionately to actions they don’t enjoy. I’ve done the same.”
Many students have said they like the level of honesty and trust in the classes as well as having fewer and less intense conflicts in their quarters and with their families during calls and visits. If you’re not enjoying the end results of your communication, we invite you to sign-up for the next series.
The Hill classes have been meeting every Wednesday from 3 to 5 p.m. in the Education Building. Sign-up sheets are posted two weeks before the next session in both the Education Building and in North Block. H-unit classes meet on Wednesday from 6:30 to 8:25 p.m.
Students can get information about and sign up for classes in dorms Four and fFve through Stand Up inmate program advocates (next series starts Oct. 13). Evening students can also come to the registration the week before classes start and talk to NVC teachers.
