Learning to forgive the murderer of a loved one is hard but necessary in order to heal and move forward, the visitors and prisoners who spoke at The Courage to Reconcile Restorative Justice Symposium in San Quentin’s Catholic Chapel agreed.
“After losing three family members, I want the hurt to stop,” said guest speaker Mattie Scott. “I’m standing on the strength of other survivors, and I know that this is a calling on my life — to let the world know that people behind bars are victims too. We want them to become survivors so we can stop the cycle of violence.”
Scott and her sister, Elizabeth Torres, have lost sons to gun violence. Scott’s son was killed acting as a peacemaker.
On July 17, 1996, he took four bullets meant for a friend who stole the killer’s jewelry. His murderer walked because no one would testify in court, said Scott.
Torres lost two sons on two separate occasions to what she calls domestic terrorism. Gang members murdered her sons for no logical reason, she said. Their father drank himself to death over the tragedies.
Scott said she felt betrayed when the killer of her son was released because no one would testify.
SAN QUENTIN
Scott first came into San Quentin as part of the group No More Tears.
“I wanted to meet somebody who would take a life,” said Scott. “I wanted to know what that was like, what made that person do what they did. I wanted to find the root cause of violence because I know mothers did not raise murderers.”
She is executive director and founder of Healing 4 Our Families & Our Nation, co-founder for Mothers in Charge and sponsor for No More Tears.
Scott started victim support groups because there were none when her son was murdered. She climbed out of depression, realizing she couldn’t drink herself to death because there was “work to do.”
SURVIVOR
“If I stayed in my victimization, I would continue to blame, judge, be bitter and be filled with a lot of negative things that would not let me grow,” said Scott. “I wanted to be a survivor because I couldn’t help anyone as a victim.”
Scott retold the stories of other mothers from the 3,000 in her groups. One woman lost three sons on different occasions in the same neighborhood.
“Things happened when they were children. Some were molested, raped, racially profiled, bullied by gangs, called stupid, and had bad family dynamics. The children in us are screaming out, and if you don’t get that out — this is why we have prisons filled with children in adults’ bodies.
“We are all here for a purpose,” said Scott. “We need you to come back to our communities. There is work to be done; we can’t do it alone; we need our men.”
Survivor Torres retold the pain of viewing the body of her son, Francisco Garcia Torres, and realizing it was evidence.
Another son, Alvaro Pena-Torres, was murdered in Richmond while having lunch with a friend. The murders turned Torres bitter and into a hunter bent on revenge.
“I offered anything to get information on who did it,” said Torres.
She eventually received justice by going to Homeland Security. They implemented sweeps, arrested and convicted the killers of both her sons, said Torres.
SENTENCING
At their sentencing hearings, she asked the killers if she could visit them in prison one day. They all said yes, she said. Torres plans to visit the killers of her sons, when she is ready.
“Elizabeth’s story broke my heart,” said inmate Lino “Asmar” Ramos, who recently joined the RJ program. “It made me think of what the mother of my victim went through.”
RJ master of ceremonies Mike Webb said, “I apologize for the crimes committed against you.”
REACTIONS
After sitting in circles and hearing the stories of men convicted of crimes like murder, the visitors gave their reactions:
“We have to tear down the barriers of injustice against inmates and the bias,” said Scott. “People don’t think you can be healed; they want to lock you up forever, and that ain’t the answer. We need our husbands back, our fathers back, and incarceration is not the answer.”
Masha Lisitsa, a therapist who works with first-time felons, said, “It is a cathartic experience coming out and hearing shared stories. It breaks down the judgment for what it means to be in prison.”
Lindsay Crawford, a high school teacher, attended the symposium to learn more about the process and find out how students could benefit from intervention aimed at healing all parties.
Her former co-worker Anjali Rodrigues said, “Restorative Justice should be part of every expulsion hearing.”
Rodrigues, who is now a student at Harvard University, recalls a time restorative justice was noticeably absent for two freshman students whose pictures posted online revealed they had brought a gun to school. They were excellent students who had prior gang affiliation but were moving forward, and the gun wasn’t loaded, she said.
RESTORATIVE JUSTICE
“It was a pivotal point in their lives, where they could go down two different paths,” said Rodrigues. “I get the no-weapons policy, but whether they got expelled or not, a restorative justice circle should be a part of it so they could understand how their actions affected others, and to know that I was disappointed in their actions, but not them. There was not a space for that. It was punitive quickly. We need to look at the kid’s individual background and see what we can do to guide them the right way.”
Fateem Jackson performed a spoken word piece that emphasized, “All lives really do matter; that includes mine, and that includes yours.”
