Following is a religious essay by Sean K. Long
written in the form of a letter to his mother.
It has been edited for space.
Dearest Mom,
I’m so excited right now and the only reason I haven’t written you sooner about what’s happened to me is because I know I’ve written similar letters in the past. The only difference between then and now is before most of what I was writing you were lies and half truths that I knew you wanted to hear because I know you’ve been waiting so long for me to give my life over to God and accept Jesus Christ as my savior.
Happened for Real
But guess what, momma, it finally happened for real and I didn’t do it for anyone else but me. So I know it’s real this time and He’s lit a fire in me with the Holy Spirit that I can’t even come close to explaining.
Anyways, so I get here to San Quentin Prison and my first celly (Rick) turns out to be a first-termer but he’s 45 years old …somewhere in the middle of him fighting his case, Jesus reached out to him in some special way and now he’s on the road of a born-again Christian…
Rick… gave me his testimony (and) it hit me hard…I got moved to the gym where … I get another bunky that’s as true blue born-again Christian… they even call him Real.
I Prayed for Guidance
But I still had my doubts and my fears of picking up a Bible when everyone knows me … that I’m truly a Skinhead. So after a couple of days in the Gym I get kicked out and sent back to West Block for horse-playing…
I get celled up with another born-again Christian (named Steffan)…The next morning they kick me back down to the Gym … I prayed for guidance and a sign … I look up and on the sergeant’s door of the Gym they have spray-painted 3:16.
From years of hearing you, I know it was a verse from the Bible …It also hit me … (that the number has) been your P.O. Box number …
I started actually crying momma …And I picked my bunky’s Bible up …I was looking for John 3:16…and it was like 33 years of doubt came tumbling down…
That very night we got some new guys in here and one of the first guys to walk up to me and introduce himself to me is another Skinhead, born-again Christian… All my fears, all my doubts and all my worries vanished. That night I went to Bible study and at the end I hit my knees again and asked to be saved. I let black men, Mexicans and others lay their hands on my while I was on my knees crying, and it was like no feeling that dope or alcohol has ever given me… And when I got up it was like all my hate and anger, my fears and worries were all washed away at once… I was truly happy for the first time in my life.
I’ll see you soon.
Your Oldest Son
Happy B-Day Mom
