Feeling Worthless
Growing up, I never thought that it would actually bother me that I didn’t have a dad. I figured he would eventually call. When he finally did, he just offered an apology.
For seven years you never even spoke to me; for seven years, man, what the hell was I supposed to think?
I’m looking in the mirror. Like I know nobody’s perfect, but when your own dad doesn’t want you, it’s easy to feel worthless.
I know what it feels like to be living in society where everything you try to do is blocked by anxiety. So I’m trying to convince myself that I’m in control of my own happiness. Don’t forget—you’re in control of what happens next in life.
Randy – Roswell, New Mexico
Wishing for a Time Machine
When I was younger, all I wanted was to be like the plastics of Mean Girls. I started making poor decisions in life. Things I never asked for (happened.)
I didn’t wake up in December asking to turn Johns on Christmas. I didn’t ask to be sitting in a cell for New Year’s counting bricks. All I wanted was to daydream about the boy in my sixth grade math class with the pretty eyes.
Some people wake up, get out of bed, go check the mail, a drive-by happens, and they get killed.
I wish I had a time machine to go back and start my journey over again. That toy Barbie car I wanted turned into me having the real thing.
I never wanted to be 11-years-old going on 25. I want to go back to being 11 going on 12.
I would love to—and I always do tell my little sister—that she is worth it and not to believe the bad things they say about you. I say that no man, no pimp will ever put those bad things in my baby’s head.
Christina – Los Angeles