“Families can be one of the most powerful drivers of healing and safer communities,” resident Louis Sāle said. “No event has been more humanistic then giving dads the opportunities to dance with their daughters. I missed my daughter’s prom due to my incarceration.”

For the first time in California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, 16 incarcerated fathers danced, played games, and spent the day with their daughters inside the prison walls.

The historic step highlighted a different perspective of what a prison experience could be for incarcerated individuals who are disciplinary free and involved in self-help programming. 

Incarcerated fathers attended an eight-week, peer-to-peer-led family communications workshop put together by resident Tam Nguyen that culminated in a “Parenting Prom.” Throughout the workshop, families strengthened their communication skills with active listening exercises. 

Discussions centered on expectations, resentments, forgiveness, and emotional awareness. Difficult conversations were about mental health, substance and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and coping skills.

“I learned how to sharpen my communication skills with my kids and how to not put unreasonable expectations on them. I found by asking open-ended questions it allowed my daughter and I to open up more naturally,” resident Troy Varnado said.

Varnado has been incarcerated 18 years and said he felt blessed to have the opportunity to dance and spend intentional time with his daughter. He said he never got to go to proms, graduations, or a father-daughter dance. “So many people stepped up to show they care about us and our family. When you do the right thing others can see we [incarcerated] are redeemable, we can and have changed.”

“I am looking forward to growing our relationship,” Brianna Varnado, daughter of Troy, said. “His personal growth and his ability to heal from his traumas are impressive.”

Resident Wayne Lefon Briggs said it was just in the last two years that he and his daughter started talking. He committed his crime and went to prison when she was one. “I give all the glory to God. This is a blessing.”

After 11 years of incarceration, Briggs said he felt guilt about coming to prison. He said he did not want to push his daughter away, so he was passive instead of being the father she needed. He said the program showed him how to bring up a conversation about uncomfortable situations.

“This process allowed my daughter and I to get in deeper conversations. Some truth, some tough, and some good. It has been healthy for us,” resident Sergio Alvarez said of the communication workshop. He said his daughter is 24 years old and he has not had any physical contact with her since she was 12.

Resident Steven Warren said communication is a big factor in raising children. He said prior to the workshop he did not know there were three different communication styles, which include passive, aggressive, and assertive.

“As fathers we are the protectors, providers, and we are our children’s example of how to navigate circumstances. It is my job to communicate better with them. It is about listening, not to just respond, but confirm what I heard,” Warren said. “This will be a lasting memory for the rest of our lives. Praise God and thank the most high.”

Resident Michael Navarro said, “I learned to listen to what my daughter is actually saying.” His 11-year-old daughter spent the day playing corn-hole, video games, and fooseball with her father for the first time in a decade. “Before, I was communicating passively because I was in prison and I wanted to make up for me not being there. Now I communicate more effectively in an assertive way.”

Nguyen said resident Tony Tafoya came up with the idea for a Parenting Prom in 2023 when he attended the Makahiki, a native Hawaiian ceremony where he witnessed the bond Louis Sāle had with his kids. Then the film Daughters played at the San Quentin Film Festival in October and highlighted how an event like this could happen in prison. 

Tafoya said he worked with prom committee members Henok Rufael, Arthur Jackson, Nrugyen, Sāle, an outside support team, Public Information Officer Lt. G. Berry, and correctional officer Romero for over a year leading up to April 5.

“This is the California Model, what we are doing today. Everything we do is to promote public safety. We prepare guys to reenter society, help them to socialize, to learn how to handle disappointments, and how to treat people like people,” said Lt. Berry.

“Our goal was for this event to be healing for the families. A woman’s self worth is not built up in them and a positive male role model can help them to be strong and independent,” Tafoya said.

Throughout the event the fathers and daughters had a hula dance lesson, competed in a Tik Tok dance challenge, played a “Finish the Lyric” game, and spent intentional time where the fathers read a letter out loud to their daughters.

Daughter Autumn O’Bannon said she appreciated the intentional time spent with her father, Vincent. She said that despite knowing how her father felt about her, it felt good to have the letter read aloud. “I appreciate him as much as he appreciates me.”

Several supporters helped coordinate and finance the event: The Last Mile, God Behind Bars, Got Light, Hensley Entertainment, Angel Cakes, Joe’s Taco Lounge, Kirk Achme Florist, and CDCR. Also supportive were resident committee members of The People In Blue and Wallbusters, a gaming group in San Quentin. 

Monies raised to cover expenses for the daughters’ dresses, their hair and makeup, and their travel and hotel arrangements. The fathers wore tuxedos and received fresh haircuts from the resident barbers the day prior. Corsages and boutonnières ornamented the outfits worn by the participants. 

“To see how hard everybody worked to make it happen in support of families, to be in contact, get in contact, and stay in contact was heartfelt,” outside coordinator Courtney Rein said.

“We have made big strides never been done before. To push rehabilitation gives incarcerated individuals hope and opportunities,” acting Chief Deputy Patao said. “These guys earned this through good behavior. The daughters deserve this. This is a humane way to help incarnated individuals on their journey and change the stereotype and view of corrections.”

Resident Benny Alonso Espinoza said he was nervous, but looked forward to building an experience with his now seven-year-old stepdaughter. “My daughter is my baby. She is one of my higher powers.” He said she is no longer an actual baby, but she has her own characteristics. 

Espinoza has been incarcerated since his daughter was born.

“This experience gives my baby the opportunity to see me in a different light. I am grateful for this opportunity. It will be a forecast of what it can be like when I get home,” Espinoza said.