You can feel the tension increase on 6-North every evening around six. The after-dinner cleanup is finished; cribbage and Scrabble games begin. A soft murmur of the evening news escapes from the TV room, but does not mask the electricity in the air. Resolute chess players periodically lift their heads and peer toward the entrance door to the module.
What elicits such pronounced change in these inmates? Fear of the lieutenant who distributes extra duty slips like business cards at a gentlemen’s club? The pending arrival of the attractive brunette who picks up the sick call list? Well, maybe she is partially responsible, but the reality is the wait for mail call.
Letters, magazines, greeting cards and even legal mail are treasured. When the familiar blue mesh bag finally appears, everyone is drawn to it as if by a huge magnet. Inmates are sucked out of their cells and TV rooms, swept along to the correctional officer’s desk. Even the hardest veteran inmate has to fight to keep the edges of his mouth from curling into a tiny smile. All silently hope that someone has remembered.
Unfortunately for many, there is seldom anything in the blue mesh bag. We walk away with shoulders slumped, silently mumbling about our loved ones not knowing what it is like on the inside, how outside contact elevates us. Many times, we say to ourselves, “Why do I bother to send letters? Nobody cares enough to write back.”
How do we overcome this cycle of hopelessness and encourage our friends and relatives to write? Easy. Send quality letters and you will receive more responses. Write positive letters with upbeat content instead of dwelling on negativism.
Granted, many of us do not write well and feel a little embarrassed by spelling and grammatical errors. In reality, your relatives do not pay any attention to errors in your letters. They are our loved ones, not middle-school English teachers. Our correspondents are as excited as we are by mail call. However, when they find our communications filled with complaints about the system, hatred, anger and frustration, who can blame them for feeling upset too? There is so little they can do to make an inmate’s frustrations go away. Your letters go unanswered until our correspondents deal with their own feelings of despair.
How do you feel when your mother writes you about an intimidating and harassing neighbor? You can do nothing to help her and you are depressed and angry at the predicament. Mom is in the same boat when you send a letter airing your problems with a corrections officer, counselor or other inmate.
Our people on the outside do not want to hear about unpalatable food, long lines or the lack of useful activities (unless you can present the difficulties in a humorous manner). They want to hear positive aspects of your life, however few.
Think about the last letter you received from home, one that brought a smile to your face. The communication was filled with information about family, friends, new babies, relatives and changes taking place around your home. A letter like this might cause a little homesickness, maybe a tear or two, but overall, the information invigorates you. We are assured our families are safe and secure when a letter expresses contentment.
Try writing your letters in a similar vein. Include positive information. Relate to a new friend you have made or simply state you have lost a little weight or that you finally beat a rival in a handball game. If you show friends and family your strength at dealing with the inside life, they in turn are encouraged. Remember, the recipients of your cards and letters absorb your disappointment and frustrations. Their responses to your letters come easier if they do not first have to sort out their own depression.
When answering letters, re-read their lines and pen a few of your own in response to each topic covered. Answer the questions asked and respond with your own views and memories on the same subject. If told Aunt Teresa had a baby, respond with a line or two about how you remember she was a terrible driver. Whoever wrote you may respond that Aunt Teresa recently had two fender-bender accidents, automatically continuing your long-distance communications.
You will find your letters will be longer and far more interesting if you are positive.
