Q&A with San Quentin Giants starting center fielder Kameron “Kam” Hamilton
San Quentin Giants starting center fielder Kameron “Kam” Hamilton was accepted as a great athlete at San Quentin Rehabilitation Center the minute he walked onto the Field of Dreams in 2024.
Soon, though, he realized that going three for four with a homer and two stolen bases would not get him home any quicker. This lesson was emphasized after he was handed a three-year denial at his first board hearing.
Hamilton is now proving a short-term loss can be a victory toward a better life. He says his commitment to recovery and healing “started directly after my denial.”
In truth, Hamilton realized he was not ready to proclaim that he was safe for the public before entering the board room. A moment of clarity at his board hearing allowed him to see, “I had no idea why I chose to commit my crime. How could I answer for that choice?”
Hamilton’s team was split on whether to go forward with his hearing, but he refused to stipulate to a three-year denial, saying, “I put my faith in God and decided to go in.”
Hamilton’s loss at the board was SQRC’s gain as the center-fielder jumped into recovery the way he jumps on a fastball over the middle of the plate.
“I’d gone to the hearing full of anxiety and fear, [and] I left my hearing with a clearer picture of what I needed to face about myself,” Hamilton said. “The first step was to learn vulnerability and honesty; not caring what anyone else thought of me, and then I had to pick myself up and build a support network and in doing so, I have found hope, faith, and recovery.”
Not understanding why someone committed their crime is detrimental to anyone’s attempt to be released, yet Hamilton said he was as honest as he could be.
“I let the cards fall where they may. My lawyer spoke several times — stopping the hearing five minutes in — telling me I was likely going to get a five or seven year denial,” said Hamilton. “I responded that I didn’t want to run away, and today I believe things happened exactly how they were supposed to, so I could get the help I needed.”
Hamilton fully committed to a life’s journey of recovery by prioritizing accountability, self-discovery, and understanding the harm his crime imparted through his entire community. He is also embracing his victim’s impact as he meticulously plans his life of living amends.
“My denial was not a loss. I took it as taking freezing ice-cold water to the face that woke my game up,” said Hamilton. “I made poor choices even before I chose to commit my crime. To me, the parole board was an opportunity to take accountability for those choices. I expected nothing more than that, so, no, it was not a loss.”
“Right then, I learned I need to open up to people, allow others in, and deal with feelings of my failure, shame, and fear.”
Hamilton, like any great athlete, wanted to tackle his character flaws as thoroughly as he would approach playing a game. Looking back, he sees it was an impossible task.
“Playing sports and [committing to recovery] programming is hard to manage. But I was so motivated to address my behavior, and I became overwhelmed trying to balance being a part of the baseball program while committing to programming,” said Hamilton.
“I learned that baseball is part of my rehabilitation, because building healthy relationships while dealing with feelings of failure and frustration lets me be a part of something bigger than just me.”
Today, Hamilton said baseball affords him the opportunity to exercise his new skills. He integrates healing while navigating stress and maintaining a busy schedule.
Hamilton has also become a facilitator for Awareness into Domestic Abuse, and is a leader in twelve-step work. Amidst his many contributions to the SQ recovery community, Hamilton tries to maintain humility.
“If I was to give advice to someone seeking change I’d say sobriety, willingness to ask for help, and letting go of old beliefs and ideas that will not serve them any longer is a must,” Hamilton said. “All while not caring what anyone else thinks of them.”