Children traveled from as far away as San Diego to get hugs and kisses from their dads in celebration of Father’s Day June 6 in San Quentin’s visiting room.
“It is very important to have children connect with their parents to show them that they are loved,” said Amalin Molina, executive director for Center for Restorative Justice Works in Los Angeles.
Molina is a coordinator for Get On The Bus (GOTB), a nonprofit organization that brings children to incarcerated parents on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Molina said her connection to the program is personal. She said she overstayed her visa in 1998. Immigration Customs Enforcement arrested her with her husband and sent them to a detention camp in Long Beach. It took 16 months for them to be granted asylum.
During their detention, their three children were in school. “It was a huge struggle without a mother and father in the house. It was difficult being separated from my children, knowing that there was no adult to watch them,” she said. “The fact that the authorities did not find them was a good thing, because my kids were able to visit us while we were detained. They showed us that they are responsible. It was by the grace of God that they made it.”
“Research shows that when children are connected with fathers, they do better in school,” said Karen Vandelaat, a GOTB coordinator. “We believe children have a right to see their fathers.”
“It’s good to see the families come out for the guys who don’t get a lot of visits,” said Correctional Officer M. Lajoie, who has been with CDCR since April.
“I’m giddy,” said inmate Mark Jordan while hugging his daughter, Aleeya. “It’s bitter and sweet. The sweetness is that I get to see my daughter who has grown into a smart and beautiful young lady,” Jordan said. “But, it’s bitter, because being in prison is hard. You begin to understand that the mistakes you made have made it hard on your wife and kid. However, seeing my family gives me a chance to talk freely about why I’m here and not at home.”
“It’s been a while. It’s been five years,” said Patrice Berry, Aleeya’s mother. “When my baby found out about Get On The Bus she packed immediately. The Get On The Bus people provided everything. They truly treated us like guests. It was especially special for people who do not normally get waited on.”
GOTB volunteer/chaperone Karen Vandelaat said, “We’re all just one mistake from being someone in prison. Our message is that inmates are people who made a different choice. It’s a part of humanity to reach out and help. It’s like helping the underdogs.”
Vandelaat chaperoned children who rode in buses that began their journey in Long Beach, making stops in Santa Clarita, Bakersfield and Visalia before arriving at San Quentin.
Inmate Benny Gray’s surprise could not be contained as he watched his son Benny Gray III walk into the visiting room wearing a cap and gown. Gray’s son graduated from Lincoln High School in Stockton the day before the GOTB event.
“This was a perfect Father’s Day,” said Gray III’s mother, Sylvia Maldonado. “I was praying on it. I had nothing to lose. When Steve Emrick called me and said it was OK, I was so happy.”
Emrick is the Community Partnership Manager for San Quentin and the person who had to OK Gray III to come inside the prison with his cap and gown.
Gray III, a wrestler and football player, said his senior year was a struggle. “I made it through by keeping to my books. I just did everything I had to do.”
“I was being mom and dad while Benny was locked up,” Maldonado said. “I had to take him to church. It worked. He started calming down. I left everything in God’s hands.”
Gray III said he plans to go to tech school to learn electrical engineering and then go into the Air Force.
“He’s a good brother,” said his sister Bianca. “He helps me with my homework when I get stuck on it. That’s why I love him very much.”
Gray has about three more years on a six-year sentence. He said, “Since I’m from Stockton, I feel fortunate to have done all my time at San Quentin.” Gray said he is a co-facilitator for Victim Offenders Education Group. He said that he has completed three phases of the religious training program called Boot Camp and goes to church regularly. “Wherever I’m needed, I lend a hand,” he added.
“Programs like this help them [incarcerated men] prepare for life when they come home,” said GOTB volunteer Dominique De Clerck. “They have an early start on building a family bond.”
De Clerck helped chaperone children who rode in buses that began their journey in San Bernardino, making stops in Los Angeles and Antelope Valley before getting to San Quentin.
“We think it is important for families to continue to build a relationship even though one is incarcerated,” said GOTB volunteer Delores Leal.
“The Get On The Bus program is important to connect fathers with their children,” said inmate Troy Phillips’ ex, Zunknie Newell. “He [Troy] is the only dad that my kids know.”
“This weekend was about love for one another, but it was also about the pain in the eyes of the children from so many missing/absent fathers,” Phillips said.
Thirteen-year-old Gerald Salas Jr. popped out from hiding behind a vending machine in the visiting room and surprised his father, inmate Gerald Salas
“The last time I saw him was three years ago,” said Salas Sr., 29. “A Father’s Day visit makes you feel good. It’s a great feeling. It’s the greatest feeling to be with all your children.”
Salas Jr. said he traveled from Illinois to see his father. “When I surprised him, I started crying. Then he started crying. Then everyone was crying.”
“He’s a loving brother, a helping brother, who’s always been there for me,” said inmate Salas’ sister, Tatianna Keagan, 14. Keagan’s advice for families who have incarcerated members: “I would tell other kids to write them. They could always give good advice. My brother is a great dad to his kids and his family. He is a good son to his mom.”
Inmate Salas said he has about three years left on his sentence. “I’m going to reunite my family after this is done,” he said. Salas said he has completed a parenting class since being incarcerated. He said he is working on getting his GED; he attends Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. “You have to stop and think about what you’re doing,” Salas said. “Your anger gets tested every day in prison. You have to learn how to deal with it properly.”
“When I see children leave from the visit, they leave with joy and happiness. It is so beautiful to see children bond with their father,” Molina said. “We’re restoring the lives of the children to get them to connect so when daddy comes home they are not strangers. Reuniting children with their fathers is healing. Children have the right to be loved. They have the right to be kissed. We need to care about our children.”
“It really meant so much to me to spend time with my granddaughter and her to call me grandpa,” said Inmate Darnell “Moe” Washington. “She will always have memories of spending time with her grandpa Moe.”
Inmate John Vernacchio is the visiting room cameraman. “This was my second Get On The Bus event,” he said. “It’s heartwarming because you see families connecting. I almost broke into tears after seeing five family members in a group hug.”
Vernacchio, a native of the San Francisco Bay Area, has no children and gets no visits. He said, “I feel blessed because I’ve been in the visiting room for a year and a half and kids come up and hug me. Some of the people who visit here make me feel like I have a family here, at least for the moment.”
It costs between $4,000 to $6,000 to pay for a bus from San Diego to San Quentin, according to Molina. An extra expense stems from the many stops to pick up children along the way to San Quentin, she said. “We don’t want to leave any children behind.”
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