Robert “Red” Frye stepped out the gates of San Quentin a free man on April 17, after almost 25 years of incarceration. Convicted for his role in a murder in Long Beach CA in 1989. Frye arrived at San Quentin in 2000.
“For a long time in prison I was stoic,” Frye said. Because he was not the triggerman in his crime, “I was in denial about my culpability and responsibility in the murder.”
In 2004, Frye started to transform the way he thought about his crime after joining the Victim Offender Education Group (VOEG).
“I was in the second VOEG group at San Quentin with Rochelle Edwards, and I began to look at my crime in a different way because of this group,” Frye said. “The group helped me to take responsibility.”
The night before Frye paroled, he spoke to the graduates of the VOEG Next Step group in the Protestant Chapel. “Here I am leaving after 25 years of incarceration and I see a room full of men that are worthy, maybe more worthy than me, to go out there and be productive members of society,” he said.
He also admitted that he still had some rough edges, but he was willing to work on them.
Frye acknowledged the Restorative Justice and Narcotics Anonymous groups had a huge impact on his life as well.
“For a long time, I thought I was in control of my addictions, but I wasn’t,” Frye said. “NA helped me with my spirituality,” something Frye admits he was lacking for a while.
When Frye began to attend the Catholic services at San Quentin, he realized that he needed some personal work. “Church helped me with my deceptive nature, my lying, manipulating and all that I thought I need to do as a prisoner,” said Frye.
“In the past I put on a façade, and wore a tough guy mask so I wouldn’t be messed with,” Frye acknowledged.
But, the death of his cellie, Ricky Earl, in 2007 made the biggest mark upon his life.
“I became Ricky’s hospice nurse when he was dying of cancer,” Frye said. “Ricky and I were born five days apart, and we became really close. I helped him get his G.E.D,” Frye said proudly.
He says the experience of caring for Earl changed his life. “His death and journey allowed me to be vulnerable and break down my walls,” said Frye. “I cried more for that man than anything else in my life.”
Earl’s death was a clear and defining moment in Frye’s life.
On Frye’s last night in San Quentin, he admitted that he was going to miss the men he was leaving behind. He told the story of a man who left San Quentin almost 10 years ago. This guy compared leaving prison to having survivor’s guilt. “He said it was like being the lone survivor of a plane crash,” said Frye.
Frye said he was going take some time to adjust to the transition to living life as a free man before he decides what he wants to do with his life.
“One thing I want to do is get my feet wet in the ocean,” said Frye. That dream came true on April 17 in Stinson Beach.
