Most of us here at San Quentin have used the term “hating” at one time or another. And almost certainly, at one time or another we’ve also indulged in the act of hating, either consciously or unconsciously.
In looking around me, it has become apparent to me that hating has reached an all-time high over the past two years. I feel compelled to address this situation in the hope that it will help some of us stop the hating before it spreads further.
HA-TER (adv) i.e.: to hate, to spew ill will towards something. Someone who is generally negative and in bad spirits, someone who is constantly putting someone or something down, always finding fault in something, rather than seeing the good. A person who feels anger or jealousy for someone who has succeeded in something they have worked hard for. Someone who speaks badly or takes negative actions in an attempt to create problems for a successful person.
“Hater” is a term that I originally heard some 15 or 20 years ago. While watching a football game with some friends, I heard someone say something bad about one guy’s team and he replied, “You’re a hater!” At the time I thought that it was an appropriate term.
Since then it has expanded into many different applications. Just as the applications of the word have grown, so have those that attempt to apply it to others. For I see them everywhere I go.
It’s almost as if they are being mass manufactured. On a daily basis someone will say to me “I don’t like him, or them.” When I ask them why they feel this way, they really have no reasons. This all seems so crazy to me.
I am sure that we have all indulged in hater-ism at some point or another. As we mature and possess more knowledge, it just stands to reason that we would choose to discontinue this behavior. To hate is a wasted emotion that serves no purpose. It will harm the one who hates much more than it ever could the one he hates.
More often then not when we examine why we hate, there is no basis for the way we feel. Some of these haters will expose themselves occasionally. They will allow it to reach a level where they may verbalize their hatred for you. Here is a reply that I once used towards hatred: “I’m flattered that you have put so much of your time into observing me. I really wish I could do the same for you; it’s just that I’ve got too many things to do that are more important.”
Here are a few questions that you might ask yourself to see if you have been engaging in hating: 1. When your homeboy is going home, is your first thought, “He’ll be back!”? 2. When someone you know is getting a visit; do you think or say “Why would someone come visit him?” 3. Do you ever say something behind someone’s back, purposely knowing they are going to hear about it, but not from you? 4. Have you ever wished you had something someone else had, and that they didn’t have it?