Question: If you, the OG, had the ear of the young people, what would you tell them?
Dear OG Watani,
My name is La-La, and I am 49 years old. In your April “OG” column, you asked an important question: “What would I say to the current generation of youth that could make a difference in their lives today?” I thought about this question long and hard before deciding to respond. There probably is not just one thing I could say that would alter the lives of any young person. Instead, I thought about what I could do to make a difference in their lives.
I have accepted the “historical baton,” and I am doing all that I can to hand that baton to the next generation. I have learned several crucial things from the generation that came before me – things from their successes as well as from their mistakes. I believe that everything in life should be a lesson and not a let-down.
Moreover, I realize that this historical baton conveys more than a message and a meaning. It compels us to accept and practice one of the most indispensable obligations embodied in every generation: “Each one teach one.”
In a very practical sense, I am engaging the youth. Of course, I realize that not all will listen and many of those who do listen are not always paying attention. However, each and everyday I try to engage and teach at least one youngster something. My lessons can vary from merely listening to and discussing the lyrics of one of their favorite rap songs to even starting a conversation about some sensational event that took place in the news. I try not to be judgmental, instead, I try getting that person or persons to think and hear another perspective.
“OG” PERSPECTIVE:
One thing that is quite clear in “OG” La-La’s response is his assessment that it’s difficult to get the younger generation to stop and listen to an OG. Sometimes the resistance is because of generational differences. Other times it is the perceived condescending manner in which the information or lesson is conveyed. However, one thing is clear, the breakdown in communication is the result of neither side listening.
Listening is the most neglected aspect of any relationship. Communication and good relationships come with mutual understanding and respect that requires listening and not just talking–on both sides. To come to a “teachable moment,” the younger person needs to be heard and not simply preached to.
Listening well and really trying to put one’s self in the other’s shoes is a radical act. For example, I was better able to understand some of my own children’s struggle when I heard about the terrible abuse they suffered in foster care. Before hearing that, I was just responding to their behavior and not understanding where that behavior was coming from. It’s like a microcosm of the broken criminal justice system. It looks only at behavior and then tries to correct behavior by imposing laws and incarceration. It essentially targets the symptoms while completely ignoring the causes. The solution (like the problem) has both a personal and social dimension to it. Therefore, it requires transformation on both levels.
From an OG’s perspective, one of the biggest misconceptions in our communication is our inability to discern the difference between criticism and condemnation. Condemnation is the wholesale denunciation or attack on the total person. Another word for condemnation—“Haterism.”
On the other hand, criticism is identifying and correcting human weaknesses or limitations in order to make the person stronger or healthier. It is not just about correcting shortcomings, but also about affirming what someone is doing well. OGs should not only see their role as teaching. They should also reflect back on what is good, and be willing to listen. We must find a way to open some doors inside young minds that have not had the opportunities or support to be self-reflective. Young people must see and believe that what they do matters in the big picture.
In today’s digital world of instant gratification, drugs and violence, there are many distractions impacting the lives of young people. Requiring OGs, such as La-La, to be creative, courageous and committed in getting their message across. The task is neither glorious nor easy. This certainly does not give any OG an excuse not to try to reach out. It does not exempt OGs from their generational responsibility and obligation to pass the historical baton.
Learning is essentially reinforcement through repetition, and that repetition must provide both an invitation to young people, as well as an opportunity to reflect and grapple with ideas that promote and protect their growth and development. Above all, one must be ready to hear and listen to the message before the lesson can begin.
