Linda White’s daughter was murdered in Texas. She came to San Quentin State Prison last month to talk about forgiveness with inmates who have committed similarly serious crimes.
“Forgiveness is sometimes a mystery to me,” she said. “It’s letting go of all that negative power. I did not set out to find a way to forgive those boys who took my daughter. I just set out to live my life.”
White was one of the featured speakers at a symposium on alternative ways of approaching criminal justice, hosted at the Catholic Chapel on Sept. 13. She is part of Bridges to Life, a Texas faith-based program that arranges encounters with victims and offenders.
White shared her own story of meeting one of her daughter’s killers, where she learned that her daughter’s last words were, “I forgive you and God will too.”
The perpetrator has now been on parole for five years, and White believes his success since leaving prison is a memorial to her daughter.
“He had someone to finally listen to him,” said inmate Darnell “Moe” Washington of White’s encounter with her daughter’s killer. “That resonated because once someone heard my story, I was able to accept and be held accountable for my actions.”
A group of 150, including some 25 guests, gathered for the symposium, Forgiving to Heal, which was sponsored by the San Quentin Restorative Justice Interfaith Round Table. The visitors, many who regularly volunteer at the prison, mingled with inmates at the six-hour event to learn from White and others about principles of Restorative Justice, such as healing and forgiveness.
“Receiving looks of empathy, not looks of judgment, helped me share my story,” inmate Tommy Ross said.
Ross talked about the long-lasting effects of his traumatic childhood, and his journey to forgiveness. Prior to practicing Restorative Justice principles, he said he could not let go of the anger that led him to gang violence and, eventually, second-degree murder.
Julio Escobar, who works with survivors of violent crime with the Catholic Diocese of San Francisco, also spoke at the symposium. He began his presentation with a moment of silence in honor of victims of crime and offered advice to perpetrators about coming to terms with their pasts.
“It’s an encounter with yourself,” Escobar said to the audience. “There are three areas: What you think you are, what others think you are, and then the real you. Take off the mask. Compassionate listening is the practice that I use.”
Some family members believe that forgiving perpetrators is a form of betrayal, according to Escobar. He says part of his role is to change this way of thinking.
“It is through forgiveness that we are forgiven,” said inmate Dwight Krizman in a prayer.
The symposium deeply affected many inmates, who spent time discussing the core values of Restorative Justice, including caring, humility and trust.
“Respect is a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody or something,” said inmate Mike Webb. “I don’t mind being vulnerable and sharing my story.”
Volunteer Noel Amherd, who teaches a Ifa religious group at San Quentin, said he was similarly moved by the event. The group, called Ajobo Isese, meets on Wednesdays at 11:30 a.m. at the Catholic Chapel library.
“I found brothers that I thought I never had,” Amherd said. “San Quentin is a community of people that society dismisses, yet San Quentin carries people who have value.”
–Rahsaan Thomas contributed to this story
